If every woman wants a relationship, there’s an image of men as the opposite, either more hesitant to start relationships or completely commitment-phobic. But realistically, it’s impossible to characterize all men so simply. So we’ll let you do that for yourself.
If you’re wondering about the psychology of men and relationships, curious to see where you fit in and how women might feel about you as a partner, we’ll break it down into two categories: the Keeper (aka the guy to settle down with) and the F*ckboy (aka someone to bring home to mom).
The Keeper (the committed)
There are men who are stimulated to be emotionally present in a relationship. For whatever reason, whether it’s because of a particular person or because they have always felt more stable in regular long term relationships (serial monogamists) this group of men make it actively known that they are interested in something serious. If you dream of watching your lady walk down the aisle in a white dress one day, even if you haven’t met the right woman yet, then you’re probably the type of guy a woman would like to keep.
The F*ckboy (commitment-phob)
This guy is attrached to women, all the time. Strong women, bold women, quiet women, funny women, and above all, beautiful women. Being a player isn’t a bad thing, I mean you’re not just going to stick with any lady unless you think it’s right. But there’s a bit more going on here. If you’re the type of guy to charm women, and fall quickly for them only to quickly get over them, or grow tired of them you’re probably what women would call a f*ckboy. Essentially it refers to a guy who will f*ck with a woman’s emotions, putting their needs before their partners. Being a f*ckboy isn’t about being a bad guy, it’s more about being too hedonistic, and putting your needs above others.
Let’s look at the traditional difference in personality types for these two men:
A Keeper’s personality
Keepers are calm, cool and sometimes shy. They may be slower to express emotions or even approach someone they like, but once they start a relationship they take it seriously, and stay loyal.
A Player’s personality
This guy is confident, courageous and sometimes egocentric. He gets along with everybody. They are good orators. They quickly adapt to any environment they find themselves. They make friends easily and are loved by their friends. They are always fun to be with, you can never be bored with them. However, they’re the star of the show, not their date.
Which sounds more like you?
If you’re not sure where you fit by personality, because you’re somewhere in the middle, let’s look at the environment you were brought up in and some relationship habits, to understand your psychology a bit better.
Environment of a Keeper
You won’t often meet a keeper at a club or party, and if you do, he’s likely the one in the corner, with only his close friends. Keepers were often raised with long term relationship role models, and religion can sometimes playa role as well.
Environment of a F*ckboy
F*ckboys are often busy. They work hard, play hard, and have lots of friends in lots of different situations. Either a f*ckboy is very close to his family, and feels he already has all the love he needs in his life, or he’s distant from his family, and is untrusting of long term long and relationships. These men often have a tumultuous relationship past in one way or another.
Relationship Habits of a Keeper
When he is in a relationship and he is happy with it, and often shows his love to his partner with sweet gestures. Ultimately, a keeper is someone who thinks of his partner often, and reminds her of that whenever he can. He wants to keep her and he works to show that.
Relationship Habits of a Player
These guys enjoy the pleasure of a relationship in the moment, and may even mention or imagine a future, but don’t actively work towards creating it. In fact, they often make ladies feel loved only to make them feel abandoned the next moment. If you are overly passionate, if you are over the top, and if you care more about your own future than a future with your partner, some might consider you a f*ckboy.
The psychology of men and relationships is not as easy as black and white, or keeper and f*ckboy, but if you’re worried about how women see you, you may want to consider what you say or how you act when you’re dating someone. Show her why you care, start building a future, and if you’re not ready for any of that, let her know and don’t lead her on. Small changes to how you treat her can help you go from f*ckboy to keeper in her mind.