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Mr. Minds guide to Gym Fails - Mr Minds

Mr. Minds guide to Gym Fails

Gyms come in all shapes, sizes and pricing plans. They are centers of health, fitness and creepy old dudes, legs spread, in the sauna like:

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The social aspect may be lacking.

The gym should be a place where a person can go to achieve their goals on the path to individual greatness! Unfortunately the gym has built up a reputation as a place where meatheads, lunkheads, Christophers and roid ragin narcissists roam, flossing their veins and their gains, grunting with every motion for some attention. But they do look fit.

The way the human body is portrayed in popular culture and social media can make it tempting to skip a few steps and ignore a common sense approach in a rush to attain a look. This can lead to body damage and self-injury as people hurry in for low fees and monthly rates, ignore form and start flinging heavy things. It’s easy to get caught up in that dream image, to throw on headphones and lose yourself in a personal zone forgetting that the gym is a shared space and everyone can make or break it by taking time and asking how to use the equipment properly, respecting fellow patrons, covering your wrinkly old balls, Chris Dude! And cleaning up after ourselves.

We can learn from other people’s failure, how to perform better and safer.

Or just skip all that and laugh at people as they get beaten by gym equipment.

 

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It pays to know what you’re doing. The gym’s full of heavy things and moving parts. It breeds confidence fueled by adrenaline that leads to people doing things that are maybe questionable. So temper that confidence with common sense and look before you leap.

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Other times, it’s the looking that will do you in. Focus is key, do your own work and don’t be looking at anyone else’s “ahem” work.

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Always remember recovery is key. If you’re going to fall, commit and go down in flames. Because at the end of the day, whether you ride solo or bring a workout partner, in the gym life though there are shared temptations, you are on your own.

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What good is 8% body fat if you can’t go from sled pushes to pulling those ladies tho?

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That’s cool, ma. It’s just that I recently lost my bestie when he shattered his thorax on a weight bench and I was hoping you’d consider grabbing a ras-bana smoothie with two scoops of creatine? I’m a ball of emotion who’s surprisingly flexible and benches 350lbs.

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I got you head over heels? You don’t have to try to impress me. I like you for your spandex to the moon and back. But, on the real, you should check that equipment.

The gym can be a sketchy place and I don’t know for certain how often the equipment is maintenanced. (My equipment is well maintained, right? 0-100, rill quick you feel me? Cuz, you can. It’s solid like brick. Huff and puff but I do not blow down. You heard right.)

It’s true. People pay their $10 a month and walk in expecting everything to be in good working order but don’t trust it. Check things out first.

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That’s a sick back stretch. I like someone that can hit themselves in the face with their own knees but I can’t get down with anyone whose gym outfit matches the rack and stability balls.

At least she was trying. Couldn’t say what she was trying but that was an honest effort to better herself for a video to post on the internet. Why else check that things are in good working order? Faulty shelving will wreck your shot.

That’s the biggest fail of all:

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A gym is a sacred place to burn, shred and side eye those who plant roots on the equipment when I need to work my bi’s. This is the lifestyle, not the look.

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Don’t just buy short shorts and think your job is done. One does not buy a cape and bust crime’s jaw like they’re Batman! It takes a dead-parents level of commitment. You cannot just buy a stick with flowing tassles and be captain of the color guard. You need to be about it and practice no matter how many times you throw it up and catch it on the lips.

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I appreciate that you bought the equipment and you showed up but I’m still not getting a sense that this is where you want to be.

You’re just doing it for the snap.

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It is not tea time.

Those corduroys do not scream commitment as much as KMart. Though he does pull it off and I can’t hate on anyone’s flavor of foreplay. But I sure can hate.

People are quick to judge, belittling your hard work. Know what? When haters roll up:

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Just roll on:

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You’ll find people that appreciate your form

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Focus on those positive voices. Find your Timon and Pumba; don’t be hassled by any hyenas

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That positivity will carry you through.

The key thing is to do it for yourself. No worries about the onlookers, poseurs, or picture takers. Realize your game is so tight that they can’t help but look at the magnificence you’re packing. Leave the doubts at home or at work where they could fire your ass any day because, you aren’t very good and are easily replaced.

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Grunt loud, gesture at your crotch and go get it.

And say hi to Christopher for me! That guys nuts!

Be safe. Stretch out so you don’t cramp too bad laughing at other people’s failures and check back next week as we continue to navigate the world of fitness.

 

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Categories: Mens Fitness,Workouts

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